~The Art of Letting Go~

~If I said it was easy, I'd be lying.  There's nothing easy about leaving behind someone that you loved with everything in you;  someone that you put all of your faith and trust in, and believed that you were both equally invested in building a stable and comfortable future together.  To put it bluntly, it just stinking hurts.

I expressed my fears early on.  It's not easy for me to love and trust someone.  I've been hurt many times by the people that I was supposed to be able to rely on more than anyone else in my life.  You know what they say---"once bitten, twice shy".  It's the story of my life.

As time goes by, I am feeling less heartache---but the memories are still lurking very close to the surface and continue to swirl around inside my mind, evoking twinges of both good and bad feelings.

I committed myself to remaining true to my best friend.  I am loyal and loving and can never turn my back on someone that I love.  Wouldn't this world be an amazing place to live if we could all be this loyal? 

It's easy to love during the happy times, but it takes a lot of strength, determination, and courage to make it through the dark times.

I don't place blame, and won't claim to be innocent in how it all unfolded.  I am the kind of person that can step back and have compassion for my friends, and take into consideration what they are going through in their day-to-day lives.  I forgive and give chances for redemption.

I was sad, and grieving.  Sometimes a little lost.  Often emotional, but always loving, grateful, and kind.  I didn't ever pull away or reject my best friend.  I trusted and poured out my innermost thoughts and feelings and didn't hide my emotions.

I was also there to listen and comfort.  It was a give-and-take relationship.  Everyone has painful memories, and sharing them is a way of getting to know each other.

Long story short.......it's over.

I have regrets.  There are things that I wish I could undo.  I wish I could erase the intimacy and just remained friends. 

The saddest part of all is knowing that it can't be undone. 

I remember the laughter and sharing, before it all became complicated.  I miss the emails, chats, and phone calls.  I miss the trust.

How does love and physical comfort turn things so ugly?  I don't understand, and I'm sad about it.

All I can do is breathe, focus on the things that I can change, and let go of the rest.  I have a plan and there's no better time than the present to make it a reality.

I miss you dear friend, and wish you nothing but the best in life.  Thanks for being there when I needed you the most.  I take from this experience the valuable lessons that will get me through the rest of my life, and you'll forever hold a piece of my heart.  Be kind.  Be well.  Be the best you, that you can be.

Let me go with peace and kindness in your heart, and everything will be okay.  (((HUGS)))