~Fear vs Love........which feeling will you choose?~

~I bought a new book this weekend.  It was 25% OFF and I couldn't bypass it as it's a program that up until now I had been following online.

The book is entitled "The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse--A Breakthrough Program for Connecting with Your Soul's Deepest Purpose".

The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse is a detox diet for the soul. When you take the time to cleanse your physical body of accumulated stress and toxicity, you are rewarded with increased vitality and optimal health. In the same way, the consciousness cleanse is designed to purify your mind and emotions, bringing you enormous amounts of strength, confidence and deep inner peace. The cleanse is designed to clear away the difficulties of your past—your struggles, stress, hurts and resentments—which may cloud your perception and prevent you from reaching your heart-filled goals.

The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse is a practical program that promises to alter the quality and direction of your life and support you in not only obtaining your goals for the new year, but, more importantly, creating a new loving and nurturing relationship with yourself and with the power that sources you. This program will enable you to take back your power from the outer world, turn inward and reconnect with your inner guide and your highest self. Instead of being guided this year by your head and what you think you should do, you will be inspired and directed by your heart's deepest desires.

~Another book that I'm making my way through is called "WHAT HAPPY PEOPLE KNOW".

Research has shown that the root of unhappiness--fear--lies in the oldest, reptilian part of our brains, and negative reactions are often dictated by primal instincts. We're literally "hardwired for hard times."

First, you'll learn the only two issues that ever cause unhappiness and devise your plan to overcome both of them. Then, Dr. Baker teaches you how to spot the happiness traps, the five doomed ways we try to make ourselves happy, only to dig ourselves further into misery. Finally, he shares his happiness tools, the six simple skills that, when practiced consistently, will inevitably lead to greater optimism, courage, good humor, and fulfillment--in short, to happiness.

 My goal is to understand the things in life that often set us back from achieving our ultimate potential.  There are so many negative factors which affect many of us in unsettling ways and stagnate our ability to move forward with courage and fearlessness.

Let's face it, modern day living is difficult and confusing a lot of the time.  I don't begin to pretend that I have all of the answers, but I will do my best to figure it all out and will share what I have learned with others so that all of you may also learn and grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically stronger.

If any of you have already read these books, or plan to---please feel free to share your experiences as you feel moved to.

The most important thing that I have learned thus far is that fear and love cannot co-exist at the same moment in time.  The brain cannot process both of these emotions simultaneously.

You have a decision to make.  You either focus on the fear that binds you, or you make a conscious effort to bypass that and experience joy and inner-peace.

Fear vs Love........which feeling will you choose?

~Winter 21-Day Meditation Challenge~

~As I begin another year in my quest for spiritual growth and enlightenment, I have committed myself to fitting meditation into my daily routine.  I need to find solace in any way possible, and what better way than to just sit idle----silent----focus on your breathing and BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT?

The last several years have been so unbelievably painful and alternately mind-numbing.  I have developed the ability to hurt as much as I can possibly endure, and then the numbness kicks in so I can breathe again and lull myself back into a sense of security---an escape hatch.

I read that it takes 21-DAYS to create a routine that becomes almost 'reflex-like'.  The thoughts and patterns become an instinct which automatically kicks in when you require that assistance from your psyche.

If you are at a cross-roads, struggling to figure out what to do next, where to go, or just find yourself consumed with the age-old question of WHY?.....then give these meditations a shot.

What do you have to lose?

http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/winterday1/

http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/winterday2/

~If you have 10-15 minutes a day to invest in yourself, these meditations are very worth it.  As I make my way through these days, I will add new links so you too can follow along.

~**~NAMASTE~**~ Love, Peace, & Nimkee-Blessings to you all ~**~

~The Road to Recovery~

~Once upon a time.................I naively thought I had found the man that I was going to spend the rest of my days with.  I was wrong.

Since I decided that 2011 was going to be MY YEAR for all POSITIVE CHANGES I figured I may as well just get painfully honest with myself and admit that I've been beating a dead horse.

I made the blunderous error of falling in love with my best male friend. 

I remember one of the very first interactions that made me think "this one's different".

He took it upon himself to scour my facebook info and found my web urls.  He stayed up one night and read my blog entries about Bennett-Chadlen and then wrote me a very poignant, heartfelt email allowing me to know how sorry he was, and how he had read it through tears.  He then shared with me intimate details of his own story of losing his mother at the tender age of 16.  My heart was touched.  His words stirred my barely beating heart.

As the days became weeks, he made it his daily goal to put a smile on my face.  He was funny, witty, and sarcastic---he always made me laugh.  He shared videos and emails throughout the night so I always had something awaiting my attentions first thing every morning.  He phoned me on his days off and we'd talk the entire day away, reminiscing about the grade school days.

I began to depend on those daily affirmations that my very battered and broken-heart was actually capable of healing.  I was able to look forward to waking up and live another day.

In time I was able to speak candidly about my loss, the details of my failed marriage, my children's health concerns, and my own fears about my future.  He listened patiently.

I expressed how my feelings were beginning to grow and change.  I was perplexed and keenly interested in getting to know him better.  I made a date to visit him in Toronto and see how it went.  It was great---rejuvenating, invigorating, and amazing.  I wasn't able to continue with a long-distance relationship so he moved back here to this little island town where we both grew up.

I knew it was wrong of me to allow this to develop but I couldn't resist.  I really 'needed' this friend in my life.  I was bruised and battered.....weak....lost......emotionally bankrupt.  For lack of a better term......I was a complete and utter mess!

I trusted he would understand and have faith in me.  I was certain my loyalty would be rewarded and returned to me.  Isn't that what friends do?  I wasn't just a greedy 'taker', I also gave everything I had the ability to share through my healing journey.  I gave my never-ending gratitude and affection.

I give up.  He doesn't have the ability to understand how difficult all of this has been for me.  I have been trying to heal from my losses, and give whatever little extra energy I had leftover to nurture this relationship.

It is not going to happen so it's time to move on to Plan B.

I am making a to-do list for this year, and the top of the list is "self-discovery".  In order to accomplish this I am making time to read a few books that I purchased 3 years ago.

Today's book of choice!

 How Not To Be Afraid Of Your Own Life.....opening your heart to Confidence, Intimacy, and Joy

I refuse to get bogged with down things that I have absolutely no control over.  I won't keep up this cycle of push, pull, love, abandon, comfort, reject.........betrayal is a bitch.

I'll keep you updated on all of the interesting and enlightening information I come across.

Now it's time to sleep.....tomorrow is another day!